1st month

A month has already gone by and it feels like it just flew by. This month has had highs and lows. The highs have been watching Carolina grow, watching her smile, listening to her grunt, listening to her sleep. The lows seem to have been brutal. Paul keeps on reminding me that it's not bad compared to what other babies go thru in our little world, that is our family, it's still pretty crummy. What I'm referring to is the fact that out of Carolina's month of life I have been on antibiotics for 3 weeks. Usually being on antibiotics is not bad but since she's nursing, my milk makes her stomach hurt. She gets cramps and a lot of gas. The worst thing is that when she feels bad all wants to do is eat but when she eats it hurts her stomach and then she wants to eat and the evil circle repeats itself. It is heartbreaking to see her go from smiling to crying in pain. I never thought something so little could make me cry so much. Every time that she cries in pain I apologize (for having to be on antibiotics), hug her, and kiss her. I hope that she only remembers how much she is loved and not how much her stomach hurts.